Only God Knows Why

Jay and I are part of the student ministries at our church, called MOTION. It is broken into 3 groups, junior high, high school, and college. Once a month, MOTION, hosts a concert and sermon with games before and treats afterwards. This gives kids a fun setting to get excited about church. Usually they come with friends as a social setting, but then become enlightened by the Word and eventually find God within their heart. It’s an amazing site to see their testimonies. Have you ever seen a child (not adult) share their testimony on when, where and why they found God? I hadn’t before because I didn’t grow up in the church. So if you have, you are lucky. I only wish I knew the things these kids knew at 13 years old. Every story amazes me, but a child’s story gives me goose bumps.

I chose to join the student ministries because it was at their ages that I was the most influenced. This is the time, where you choose God or choose yourself. I never attended church until I was 24 years old, so I feel I really missed out. Watching the kids and hearing the sermons, brings a flood of emotions. I get excited seeing the kids excited about Jesus, but then sadness sets in. Sad I missed out on this experience. Disappointed no one lead me there. How in 24 years did no one talk to me about Jesus? I mean, I went to churches here or there with friends when I spent the night on a Saturday night, but never did they ever mention Jesus to me. I just thought church was a family event. Yeah! Really, that’s what I thought. It makes me think, maybe they really didn’t know Jesus at the time either? Only God knows.

My sadness quickly turns to gratitude because I remember how God finds you at the right time. And I’m just grateful He DID find me. I may never have listened, nor understood then, so maybe that’s why. The one thing I’m sure of, is that He was always working in my life, even when I didn’t know Him.

I am just grateful now for the experience to tell these kids about Jesus. I get to share my own experiences and what He did for me. At minimum, I get to see their smiling faces and give lots of hugs and high fives! I get to be a kid all over again and I feel right at home. I get a second chance to experience through them, what I wish I found then. Funny how God works! He never ceases to amaze me. I get my chance after all.

So …
When your waiting on God to show up, remember God is working.
When your happy, remember to thank Him.
And if you are not sure He is real, remember the things that couldn’t ever be explained. That’s God.

Things happen, only God knows why. But know this…everything happens for a reason.

Thanksgiving in Memphis 2012

Here are a few pictures I took during our visit to Memphis for the Thanksgiving holiday. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks Grandma

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. It was enjoyable and filled with tons of smiles and laughing. I even got to share it with my Grandma Hanlon this year! She has always been the symbol of Thanksgiving for me. Let me explain why…

For as long as I can remember, my parents loaded me and my little sister up in the car for our annual 6 hour trip to St. Louis. I say 6 hours because mom had to stop and pee every hour LOL! (But I’m not making fun because I now seem to have the same problem…I’ll blame it on child birth!) Anyways, we always visited my Dad’s side of the family in St. Louis every year and we loved it. We always knew what to expect every Thanksgiving….

Day 1: Arrival at Grandma’s house for her famous chili and peanut brittle! YUM! We are greeted by Aunt Pam and her crew with Aunt Cindi and her crew. We eat and catch up for the rest of the night!

Day 2: “Thanksgiving”…Aunt Kimmie and her boys arrive to join us. All us kids rather secretly to work on our “show” while the parents cook dinner. We kids practiced all day and even talked the boys into joining us. Once we were ready, we called the the parents in. We performed flawlessly every time : ). They would clap for us and we stood proud! I think I taught them every cheerleading and dance move I had. We had a blast together every time and it really helped us bond. Once done, we would all gather at the tables to eat. That’s a lot of tables and chairs for at least 16 people! We have a big family on the Hanlon side and I love it. After dinner, we would sit for hours laughing and telling stories about the “good ‘ole days” over dessert. My favorite dessert was Grandma’s pumpkin pie, but most everyone else enjoyed mom’s slightly burnt pecan pie. Don’t worry, it’s an inside family joke.

Day 3: Family fun day! We either spent it at the movies or shopping at the mall. I myself, liked going to the movies with all my cousins. Especially Sarah, who was the only one my age. We were 7 years older than all the other cousins.

Day 4: We said good bye and loaded back up in the car …back to Memphis for more quality family time with my dad, sister and mom. This is where Dad would give me a hard time about my New Kids on the Block crush I still say they will be bigger than the Beatles! Patience Dad. LOL!

I loved Thanksgiving, as you could probably tell. And now you know why my Grandma IS Thanksgiving to me. Since my parents divorce we have only spent one Thanksgiving in St. Louis, so it was really good to see her this year. She seems to always bring the family together, wherever she is. This year, she made her famous chili and peanut brittle for us. She even started a new tradition and finally got to make that pie with My little brother, James! We all had a great time bonding with her. It brought back all those happy Thanksgiving memories.

Grandma has always made me feel good just being around her. She can find fun in anything and that’s what I love about her most. I also feel blessed this year in getting to know her a little more. We’ve had extra one-on-one time together that has allowed me to get to know her as a mother instead of just my Grandmother. I have treasured every moment with her, soaking it all in. I welcome all motherly advise I can get from her. Being a mom is tough and now I can relate to her even better now being a mother myself. I am thankful for the time I have spent this year with her. Thank you Grandma for all the words of wisdom and laughs you have brought me over the years! I am so very grateful God put you in my life. You seem to always show up when we need you the most!

P.S….I also wanted to send a special thank you to my mother-in-law/ BarBar who cooked/hosted Thanksgiving for all our family, my mom, and my brother-in-laws family this year….yes we are blessed with 2 Thanksgivings! Both were delicious and very special to me. I always feel right at home in both places! I will try to upload more pictures. My app has changed, so I am still trying to re-figure everything out. Bare with me…

The Lost Testimony

The Lost Testimony: story of my redemption. By Dana Simpson

I was born Dana Nicole Tate. My mother and biological father divorced shortly after I was born. They had problems long before me and both agree that having a baby couldn’t save their marriage. My biological father spent the remaining years, in and mostly, out of my life. He provided me with no stability and our relationship has been a roller coaster, as I best describe it. This was the beginning of my troubles. I choose to believe he loves me, but never quite figured out how.

When I was 2.5 years old, my mother met a man from St. Louis, Missouri, named Steve Hanlon. They fell in love and married by the time I was 5 years old. Then a few months later, he legally adopted me and I still remember the exact day…We had to go to court and afterwards, he kneeled down on one knee and said, “you can call me Dad now.” I didn’t know the magnitude of the situation that day, but what I did know… I was happy to call him Dad.

After that day, my biological father no longer had legal rights and I was now…Dana Nicole Hanlon. We were very happy and life was wonderful. A few years later they had my sister, Katie, and we were complete. We grew as a family together through the years. We didn’t have much money then, but we were rich in love and family.

By the time I hit high school, my Dad had been successful enough at work that mom was now a stay home mom. We were pretty well off by then and we had just moved to a predominant neighborhood. Signs of problems in my parents marriage began to appear here and they started spending more time apart than together. I always say, “the bigger our houses got, the further apart our rooms got.”

I was a good kid and did well in school, so my parents never had much to worry about me in that sense. However, I was the pretty, blonde cheerleader…not to sound concieded, just trying to paint a picture. Pretty, blonde cheerleaders tend to get a lot of attention. Good or bad. I had both unfortunately. I began to struggle in high school because I was a goodie-goodie at heart, but I was also a cheerleader, which had pressures to keep up with the popular crowd. I had friends in theatre that my friends in the popular crowd couldn’t understand. I was torn. I had no idea who I was suppose to be, much less who I was.

Things between my parents progressively got worse when I went to college and I tried my best to ignore it. I guess being 6 hours away at college made it easier to ignore. They both continued to convince me they were “fine” and “that’s just marriage,” so I did what any 19 year old would do…believe them. They are your parents right?

I finished college making a 4.0 GPA by the time senior year rolled around. I got an awesome job right out of school and moved to Nashville, Tennessee. On the outside, I had it all together, but on the inside I was a wreck. By then, I had already began to “unravel” and turned to alcohol to numb my pain. To make matters worse, I was hanging out with friends who did the same. My parents, who love me unconditionally, were so consumed with their own problems at that point that they never saw my cries for help. I slowly continued to spiral out of control until one night, November 10th, 2004…

I had been out on a usual night of drinking at a bar with friends. By 1:00am, I decided to drive home. I was about 100 yards from my apartment when I lost control of my truck and ran right through a brick wall. I immediately freaked out, then I saw a bright light that was mesmerizing. My life began to flash before my eyes very vividly from when I was a baby till that very moment. Only, it was a different picture of my life. It was a different perspective…you know, the “reality” of what actually happened versus what I thought had happened. I had hit rock bottom.

I must have I passed out at some point because when I came to, an officer was pulling me out of the car asking if I was ok. I was taken to the hospital, where I was checked out by doctors. By then, I had a chance to sober up and realize the repercussions of my actions. My world was flipped upside down. How did I get here? What happened? What have I done? Where have I been for the past 10 years of my life?? I was a lost little girl for a very long time.

It was at the hospital that I had my first encounter with God. The doctors had left and the room was eerily quiet. A nurse came in to tell me that I was being released and I needed to call someone to come get me. I stopped to gather my thoughts, then a blank stare. I realized I had no one. As tears began to well up, I said to her, “I have no one to call.” My so called “friends” were still at the bar or had left drunk. My parents were 250 miles away in Memphis. I had no one. My perfect little life came crashing down on me and I began to weep. The nurse asked again, as if it were a dagger in my side, saying, “there has to be someone?” I replied, “no one.” She abruptly left the room and I was left to think of all the terrible things she thought I was.

But then, there she was again. She came busting through the door, threw a warm hospital blanket over me and wrapped me up tightly. I can still feel the warmth of that blanket to this day. She then proceeded to gently shove me off the bed and said, “Come on, I’m going to take you home now.” Mercy. I believe that’s the definition. She showed me mercy when I didn’t deserve it. God’s love is so amazing that we can’t possibly understand it in the human flesh.

(Psalm 116:1) “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.”

We sat pretty much in silence the whole way to my apartment. As I got out of the car, I tried to muster up a thank you as my eyes were swollen from tears. She told me to take care of myself and then said the two words that saved my life…”God Bless.” It was the first time I ever heard them and directed at me. I was curious. God? Was HE the answer? A little curiosity goes a long way. I knew it was a miracle that I was alive. My car was totaled, I ran through a brick wall literally and I had not one scratch on me. Think about that. I now know there is a God because of the things that can’t be explained that night.

(Ezekiel 34:16 ) I will search for the Lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the cruel and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.

After the wreck, it was like learning how to walk again. If I don’t go to bars, where do I go? I didn’t know where to begin to put my life back together. So, I began with what I hadn’t tried…Church. I finally accepted a friend’s request to attend Church after asking me a thousand times over the years. It was there, I found my answers. I slowly became aware of my Savior and officially SAVED a few months later in February 2004. I decided right then and there, to start living my life for Jesus and stop living life for myself. I have been blessed beyond words ever since!

I continue my spiritual journey till this day. He amazes me every day and I am as happy as I’ve ever been. I moved back to Memphis that May to be with my family. There, I met the love of my life 1 week after moving back. We were married about 4 years later and then blessed with our little boy, 2 years ago. I must also mention that the love of my life came with an added bonus: Aydin, my stepdaughter, who teaches me more about God than I could ever teach her.

(John 10:10) “I came so that you have Joy in your life.”

I believe our spiritual journeys never end. Blessings come from God everyday for us. After a rough first year with a sick baby and hectic work schedule, my husband and I received the call of God to move to Birmingham, Alabama. HE called and we packed up everything we had, with a sick baby in tow, and moved. Here we have found our dream and a healthy little boy ever since. My husband and I joined Church of the Highlands in July 2012, where we now serve the student ministries on the MOTION dream team. I hope to help other kids find their way through His way.

I have learned that I am not in control and the more I tried to control my life, the further it spiraled out of control. Only He can bring me peace and no one has loved me greater. God gave me meaning and purpose for my life. It’s through HIS amazing grace, I have been redeemed. I no longer have to live with shame and regret. I have taken back my freedom because of my love for Jesus. I was taught that even though our background and circumstances may have shaped who we are, WE are responsible for who we become. I want everyone to find the joy that I have found in Him. I now dedicate my life to finding the “lost” and showing them the light. May my life be the testimony.

(Romans 8:28-29) “And we know that in all things, God works for the good; who have been called according to his purpose. For God knew his people in advance to become like his son…”

Do Something

Dear friends,
Sorry I’ve been away for a while. I guess I needed time to sort things out a bit, but all in good news. I’ve spent my days having conversations with the Lord. He did most of the speaking though, which between me and you, was over due : )

What did he say? Well I will have to refer back to April. Remember for Lent, I gave up Facebook?
What I learned through my 40 day challenge were my spiritual gifts. They had been there all along, but God laid them out on a silver platter for me during Lent. My spiritual gifts are prophecy and evangelism hands down and they work together like a charm. Why didn’t I know this all along?!

After speaking with a minister, who’s advice was to “do something,” when I asked for guidance on how to use my gifts…I joined our Church here in Birmingham with Jay in July. We jumped right in and I gave it to God to lead me in the direction He wanted me to take. After joining, we were forced to make a decision of where we wanted to volunteer our time. Where? Duh, that’s my question! I was at a loss for words.

I didn’t know what to do, but after leaving a church class one night, Jay leaned over and said, “you know, you would be great for the student ministries.” Student ministries?! I thought he had lost his mind! I told him, “kids scare me, especially because these are big kids who can look you straight in the eye!” (this was junior high through college) The salesman in him, started trying to sell me on it….He said my personality fits right in with teenagers. Was that an insult or praise? I was not convinced. I expressed my concerns that I didn’t know the Bible the way he did and that these kids would call me out on it! After all, I’ve only known God for less than 8 years. I had valid concerns, right? He replied, “yes you do, but it doesn’t matter anyway, they just need someone who cares enough to lead them to the Bible and that’s you 100%.”

I don’t know how, but he started to convince me. Was God speaking through Jay? I told him, “I can’t do this without you,” I needed his help and support. He agreed to help me. After praying about it, God spoke and said, “its time, go do something!” We went back the next week and signed up for the student ministry, MOTION. Where I have been since, is a beautiful story.

It was because of these kids, I was given the encouragement and strength to tell my story. They have helped me more than I have helped them so far. I was lead to tell my story and I wrote it. I have decided to pray for 30 days before releasing it though. That 30 days will mark the 8th year anniversary of the day I met God. The night of November 10th, 2004, my world was flipped upside down.

Please stay tuned for my story. My “Lost Testimony”……coming November 10th. Until then, please pray for strength, wisdom and encouragement to share my story.

Thank you friends,
Dana

Room For Four

We are here on our last day in Hilton Head, South Carolina. We had the best time together as a family and it’s been the best experience. We don’t always have Aydin, so this time has been really special.

We had plenty of fun here! We have gone to the beach, pool, baby pool, boogie boarding, harbor village fun day, craft projects, ping pong, pool movies, hair braids, 2 hour bike ride and night of fireworks. With all of these things, it’s funny, but the best family “event” we have had…laughing and hanging out in the room! Yeah, something so silly, at zero cost and really nothing…has been the best times we have shared as a family.

It’s in the room where all 4 of us can run free and be free to be who we are. Aydin and Parker will chase each other around, then Jay and I will run after them as the tickle monsters. We laugh until we cry…well usually Parker because that’s what he does best. LOL!

I know it takes a little while for all of us to get acquainted again when we see each other, but once we get in the groove…we have it. We click. We leave off, right where we started. I realize just how lucky we are to have such good kids. I really cherish our family time and love the “several” weeks at a time stays we get now. It gives us more time to be a family, even if we are doing nothing but hanging out in a hotel room. There is where I found laughs that take my breath away.

Tiny Prayers

We are on vacation in Hilton Head, South Carolina with Parker and Aydin! We are having a blast and will keep you updated! However, I just had this “moment” via Parker that literally took my breath away and I had to share…

He has been fussy because he isn’t feeling well, so I took him upstairs to nap while Jay took Aydin to the ocean. I got flustered because my phone wasn’t working….since Parker chunked it in the ice chest last night! I was caught up in trying to get it to work, that I didn’t notice Parker was trying to get my attention. He grabbed my hand, then once he had my attention, he held out his other hand for me to grab without saying a word….and if you know Parker, that’s not like him! He is a whinny little thing. He gently held both my hands, then looked up at me as if he said, “Mommy, it’s ok, let’s pray about it.”

Yep, he gave me a look, bowed his little head and waited for me to pray while we held hands.

I might of screwed up a lot things in my life, but this…this I got right. Here is my 1 year old keeping me accountable. Funny how God works. It’s amazing to watch Him work through my son. So, I prayed the first prayer that came to me…

“Lord, thank you for these little hands. Help me to never take them for granted. May you continue to work through him and I for your purpose and not our own. We love you so much. In Jesus’ name. Amen”

After that, Parker climbed in my lap and literally fell asleep sitting up.

Sometimes we get too distracted with things that do not matter, that we take for granted our TIME with our loved ones. I hope we all decide to take time out today for those we love most. Give them your time and attention because after all, that’s what matters.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Father’s out there. Special thanks to Jay, my Dad, Jay’s dad and my Grandfather!! My favorite men! We love you and are so blessed to have you in our life!

A new normal

I have been knee deep in writing my book! I know, I’m proud of myself. It’s just finding that will, that voice to go after your dreams that really counts. Even if no one reads it, I can still say I wrote it. That’s all I care about.

So with that, I have been thinking about my legacy. Where have I been, where am I and where do I want to be. I was at church tonight and realized, just how far I’ve come. How happy I am. Mainly just content. If I never better from here, I could die happy. It’s because of God. Love saved me.

My life is less chaotic and more normal now. Heck, I use to think chaos was normal because it’s all I’ve ever known. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been very blessed. However, drama, self gratitude, and lots of self denial has always surrounded me. I realized what a selfish world I use to live in and even though that doesn’t go away around me, I have learned to remove myself from it. I chose to live a drama free life now because I chose to live my life for God and not myself. It’s not all about me anymore. There are no desperate calls for attention, no damsel in distress and man it feels good.

I live a peaceful quiet life in the mountains now and I’ll do everything I can to keep it that way. My beautiful husband and his family opened up my eyes to a new normal. Peace. God instilled it and they reinforced it. I am so thankful for them and what they have taught me. I want to give my son that legacy. God and peace.

I’ve learned that money can’t buy you happiness, matter of fact it can do the exact opposite. I’ve learned that family is most important under God and that saying no, isn’t so bad. Everyone is just one second away from stupid. So by learning to say no, I realized it didn’t make me boring or unpopular, it made me smart. It makes me free.

One of my favorite quotes is, “Those who stand for nothing, fall for everything.” It’s true. And until you do stand up for something, you’ll never get what it means. That’s why I believe so much in the word of God. Without Him, I was nothing. With Him, I am everything.

So where have I been? Selfish
Where am I? Working on being selfless
Where am I going? Heaven

Chaos and drama no more. I just simply say no. Now, I choose to live life for God and I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I leave all the hard stuff to Him. I am content in where I am and choose to surround myself with those who do the same. My closest friends and family better me, not hinder me. That my friends is my new normal and legacy for my son.

What have you been needing to say no to lately? Try it, you’ll feel liberated.

Poisoned Idea

I have been plagued by “unknown” war wounds for over two weeks now. I have never felt worse nor had so little sleep. They have itched with no end in sight and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!!

I was first diagnosed with “scabies” which at the very thought of bugs crawling all over me…I flipped out to say the least. I cried a few tears then came home and washed everything in sight, including my curtains! We put everything else in trash bags to “kill the mites,” as we were told. We even freaked out so bad, we threw away our mattress and bought a new one!! With the thought that Jay and Parker had it, we were all treated with this very strong scabies cream.

After 3 days and more bites…I went back to another doctor who have me a steroid shot to help stop the spreading. We then went to Florida to get away from the chaos and 20 loads of laundry I did. After being in the sun for a few days, I went back to a doctor in Florida who was so freaked out by my “war wounds” that he wouldn’t come near me, but assured me it didn’t look like scabies and more like some kind of contact dermatitis. Said it was so badly infected, he gave me an antibiotic, but encouraged me to see a dermatologist when I got home.

So 2 weeks after the first sign of bumps, I went to a dermatologist, who said it was definitely not scabies, but that she thought I had two different things. One was definitely poison ivy….yeah. If the first doctor would of asked me if I had been in poison ivy or worked in the yard, I would of said yes. Then if the second doctor would of told me it takes up to 3 weeks to show up, I would of told him, it took me 5 days! Uggg!! Then after being misdiagnosed with scabies, the cream we had to use gave me an allergic reaction!

On top of that, she was so worried and completely confused as to why the wounds on the back of my leg were infected in a ring shape, that she had every doctor come in and look at me to give their opinion. Great! Still no one knows what’s wrong? She then proceeded to take 2 biopsies in 2 places on my leg to see what kind of “bites” they were. They looked so much like a tick bite, that she also tested my blood for limes disease! Great! Now I’ll have twitches! After all that, I left the dermatologist with 2 sets of stitches in my legs, completely frustrated that 3 doctors couldn’t diagnose simple poison ivy, and worried to death I’ll die of limes disease!

Needless to say I have had a rough couple of weeks. To say the least! Who knew poison ivy would be so hard to diagnose and such an awful itch feeling. I had not slept for more than a few hours a night for 2 weeks, so I was more than sleep deprived. It’s been 4 days since my dermatologist visit and I am finally starting to slowly feel better. However, I am on 6 steroids a day, 2 antibiotics and a topical steroid cream! Along with the new tempur pedic bed, I am finally sleeping…thank you Lord. My wounds are still there, but look better. I am praying they are finally starting to heal since they don’t itch as bad.

So on a good note, you know how much I trust in the Lord and that my favorite quote is “everything happens for a reason.” Well, I prayed and prayed and pleaded with God…”why?” Why have you made me this miserable…what are you trying to tell me? Well one night after much much misery, up at 2am itching to no end, I decided to read a book to take my mind off everything and hopefully to help me sleep. Then, there He was! He spoke to me. The idea for my book came to me!! I now know what and how to write my book finally after 3 years of struggling to start it. All those sleepless nights did have a good ending. God always makes something good out of something bad. You just have to listen. If I hadn’t been up at all hours of the night, trying to find something of “fiction” to take my mind off of “reality,” I would of never had my book idea. God works in mysterious ways! God is good! Scabies + poison ivy = dream book!

Key West for Two

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Jay and I enjoyed 5 full days together without the baby to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. We went to Key West for our “babymoon” before Parker was born, but I was 5 months pregnant, so we decided to go back. It was just as wonderful as we remembered it.

We ate at our favorite restaurant, Conch Republic, 3 times and ate at the most wonderful sushi restaurant too! Those were our favorite meals. We also checked out the sunset festivities while we were there again…that never gets old. Beautiful sunsets to top it off! Jay went deep sea fishing and I had a spa day for our anniversary “gifts” this year. However, our favorite was the sailboat, sunset cruise. It was beautiful, lots of dancing, awesome blues band, and the food/drinks weren’t bad either. LOL! Nothing beats being on a boat at sunset!!

Needless to say, it was a wonderful get-a-way. We try every year to take a vacation for just the two of us. It’s a must need for a good marriage. Always take time out for each other. I suggest every married couple make a promise to do the same, even it is just a day…got to do it. Isn’t your marriage worth it?! You can spend the remaining 364 days on the kids and hectic work schedules. GO ENJOY EACH OTHER. LIFE IS GOOD!