Room For Four

We are here on our last day in Hilton Head, South Carolina. We had the best time together as a family and it’s been the best experience. We don’t always have Aydin, so this time has been really special.

We had plenty of fun here! We have gone to the beach, pool, baby pool, boogie boarding, harbor village fun day, craft projects, ping pong, pool movies, hair braids, 2 hour bike ride and night of fireworks. With all of these things, it’s funny, but the best family “event” we have had…laughing and hanging out in the room! Yeah, something so silly, at zero cost and really nothing…has been the best times we have shared as a family.

It’s in the room where all 4 of us can run free and be free to be who we are. Aydin and Parker will chase each other around, then Jay and I will run after them as the tickle monsters. We laugh until we cry…well usually Parker because that’s what he does best. LOL!

I know it takes a little while for all of us to get acquainted again when we see each other, but once we get in the groove…we have it. We click. We leave off, right where we started. I realize just how lucky we are to have such good kids. I really cherish our family time and love the “several” weeks at a time stays we get now. It gives us more time to be a family, even if we are doing nothing but hanging out in a hotel room. There is where I found laughs that take my breath away.

Tiny Prayers

We are on vacation in Hilton Head, South Carolina with Parker and Aydin! We are having a blast and will keep you updated! However, I just had this “moment” via Parker that literally took my breath away and I had to share…

He has been fussy because he isn’t feeling well, so I took him upstairs to nap while Jay took Aydin to the ocean. I got flustered because my phone wasn’t working….since Parker chunked it in the ice chest last night! I was caught up in trying to get it to work, that I didn’t notice Parker was trying to get my attention. He grabbed my hand, then once he had my attention, he held out his other hand for me to grab without saying a word….and if you know Parker, that’s not like him! He is a whinny little thing. He gently held both my hands, then looked up at me as if he said, “Mommy, it’s ok, let’s pray about it.”

Yep, he gave me a look, bowed his little head and waited for me to pray while we held hands.

I might of screwed up a lot things in my life, but this…this I got right. Here is my 1 year old keeping me accountable. Funny how God works. It’s amazing to watch Him work through my son. So, I prayed the first prayer that came to me…

“Lord, thank you for these little hands. Help me to never take them for granted. May you continue to work through him and I for your purpose and not our own. We love you so much. In Jesus’ name. Amen”

After that, Parker climbed in my lap and literally fell asleep sitting up.

Sometimes we get too distracted with things that do not matter, that we take for granted our TIME with our loved ones. I hope we all decide to take time out today for those we love most. Give them your time and attention because after all, that’s what matters.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Father’s out there. Special thanks to Jay, my Dad, Jay’s dad and my Grandfather!! My favorite men! We love you and are so blessed to have you in our life!

Poisoned Idea

I have been plagued by “unknown” war wounds for over two weeks now. I have never felt worse nor had so little sleep. They have itched with no end in sight and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!!

I was first diagnosed with “scabies” which at the very thought of bugs crawling all over me…I flipped out to say the least. I cried a few tears then came home and washed everything in sight, including my curtains! We put everything else in trash bags to “kill the mites,” as we were told. We even freaked out so bad, we threw away our mattress and bought a new one!! With the thought that Jay and Parker had it, we were all treated with this very strong scabies cream.

After 3 days and more bites…I went back to another doctor who have me a steroid shot to help stop the spreading. We then went to Florida to get away from the chaos and 20 loads of laundry I did. After being in the sun for a few days, I went back to a doctor in Florida who was so freaked out by my “war wounds” that he wouldn’t come near me, but assured me it didn’t look like scabies and more like some kind of contact dermatitis. Said it was so badly infected, he gave me an antibiotic, but encouraged me to see a dermatologist when I got home.

So 2 weeks after the first sign of bumps, I went to a dermatologist, who said it was definitely not scabies, but that she thought I had two different things. One was definitely poison ivy….yeah. If the first doctor would of asked me if I had been in poison ivy or worked in the yard, I would of said yes. Then if the second doctor would of told me it takes up to 3 weeks to show up, I would of told him, it took me 5 days! Uggg!! Then after being misdiagnosed with scabies, the cream we had to use gave me an allergic reaction!

On top of that, she was so worried and completely confused as to why the wounds on the back of my leg were infected in a ring shape, that she had every doctor come in and look at me to give their opinion. Great! Still no one knows what’s wrong? She then proceeded to take 2 biopsies in 2 places on my leg to see what kind of “bites” they were. They looked so much like a tick bite, that she also tested my blood for limes disease! Great! Now I’ll have twitches! After all that, I left the dermatologist with 2 sets of stitches in my legs, completely frustrated that 3 doctors couldn’t diagnose simple poison ivy, and worried to death I’ll die of limes disease!

Needless to say I have had a rough couple of weeks. To say the least! Who knew poison ivy would be so hard to diagnose and such an awful itch feeling. I had not slept for more than a few hours a night for 2 weeks, so I was more than sleep deprived. It’s been 4 days since my dermatologist visit and I am finally starting to slowly feel better. However, I am on 6 steroids a day, 2 antibiotics and a topical steroid cream! Along with the new tempur pedic bed, I am finally sleeping…thank you Lord. My wounds are still there, but look better. I am praying they are finally starting to heal since they don’t itch as bad.

So on a good note, you know how much I trust in the Lord and that my favorite quote is “everything happens for a reason.” Well, I prayed and prayed and pleaded with God…”why?” Why have you made me this miserable…what are you trying to tell me? Well one night after much much misery, up at 2am itching to no end, I decided to read a book to take my mind off everything and hopefully to help me sleep. Then, there He was! He spoke to me. The idea for my book came to me!! I now know what and how to write my book finally after 3 years of struggling to start it. All those sleepless nights did have a good ending. God always makes something good out of something bad. You just have to listen. If I hadn’t been up at all hours of the night, trying to find something of “fiction” to take my mind off of “reality,” I would of never had my book idea. God works in mysterious ways! God is good! Scabies + poison ivy = dream book!

Key West for Two

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Jay and I enjoyed 5 full days together without the baby to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. We went to Key West for our “babymoon” before Parker was born, but I was 5 months pregnant, so we decided to go back. It was just as wonderful as we remembered it.

We ate at our favorite restaurant, Conch Republic, 3 times and ate at the most wonderful sushi restaurant too! Those were our favorite meals. We also checked out the sunset festivities while we were there again…that never gets old. Beautiful sunsets to top it off! Jay went deep sea fishing and I had a spa day for our anniversary “gifts” this year. However, our favorite was the sailboat, sunset cruise. It was beautiful, lots of dancing, awesome blues band, and the food/drinks weren’t bad either. LOL! Nothing beats being on a boat at sunset!!

Needless to say, it was a wonderful get-a-way. We try every year to take a vacation for just the two of us. It’s a must need for a good marriage. Always take time out for each other. I suggest every married couple make a promise to do the same, even it is just a day…got to do it. Isn’t your marriage worth it?! You can spend the remaining 364 days on the kids and hectic work schedules. GO ENJOY EACH OTHER. LIFE IS GOOD!

Lemonade Out of Lemons

Jay and I have about 12 hours on our hands since our flight to Key West was delayed. We have spent months preparing for a few days away without Parker (and we miss him dearly) to celebrate our anniversary, jumping through hoops to make it work. Heck we pretty much had to pack the whole house just for 5 days away.

But here we sit in the Memphis airport, still barely awake from getting up at 4am, only to be told our flight was cancelled. What should of been an arrival in Key West at 11am and then an entire afternoon on the beach has now turned into 12 hours at the airport…at the very least. I think it’s an understatement to say we are disappointed, but we are doing our best to see the positives…and it’s not easy. I have decided to channel my “energy” into the blog instead of loosing it.

For some odd reason, I am pretty calm, maybe it’s the lack of awakeness, but I know it’s probably God. We managed not to kill anyone or each other for that matter! Ha! We have now made it to Atlanta and after some good food and drinks, we are much better. We have seen the humor in all this and can laugh about it now. We know that everything happens for a reason and mostly…it’s not the destination, its the journey. The journey has been all over the place, but we have each other.

We have let go of our daily routine stress that gets in the way of enjoying each other. Mostly a 1 year old demanding your attention. We don’t have those distractions for the next few days and it honestly took us a while to let go, but we have. We’ve been able to find “us” again and enjoy holding hands and giggling at silly stuff…mainly people watching here in the airport! LOL!

We love each other so much and that’s all you need to make life happy. Find your partner that can help make lemonade out of lemons…that’s real love. That’s what life is about. Its pretty much guaranteed that life will throw you some lemons when you least expect. Its just how you, and who your with, respond to them that determine the outcome. Life could never be lemons with them in yours!

A Little Sunshine

Mom came to visit us for Easter, then we decided to drive to Destin at the last minute. We had a blast, weather was great and I had some good mom time! Jay even met us on Friday for the weekend. Parker swam literally till he passed out! It was a much needed get-a-way for all of us. After being indoors all winter it was nice to have some sunshine!

Summer Time

It is officially Spring time, (although it feels like Summer already) and man are we ready to enjoy the warm months ahead. I love Spring because it is the season for celebrating our wedding anniversary, which is our first vacation of the year. Basically April is the beginning of our Summer fun. April 20th is the day to be exact. We will celebrate our 3rd anniversary on the 18th here in Birmingham, then dropping Parker off with the Grandparents in Memphis and flying to Key West on the 20th for 5 days of beach fun! Whoohoo, I am ready!!

Parker is 19 months now and it hurts to say that. Where did my baby go? It hit me on the playground the other day when I told Parker, “let’s go swing next to the baby and say hi.” Yep, I stunned myself and at that moment. I no longer had a baby, I had a toddler. A nonstop talker and get into everything-er! I am trying to finally loose the rest of my pregnancy weight, just so I can keep up with him. (15 pounds down and lots more to go!) I have to get him out of the house to run around, just so he won’t tear up the house! I even created a dream playground in the basement for rainy days, complete with a swing and slide! Thanks to mom/Gigi! It works like a charm and I am more thankful than he I think. LOL!

If you ever wonder what my schedule looks like (and its never the same), but Parker and I spend the early morning hours usually eating breakfast and then about 30 minutes of “learning time” to teach him more fine motors skills, words, and colors right now. Then, we spend our mid mornings at the YMCA. I get about 1.5 hours to myself to workout and he gets to run some energy out with other kids. He is usually ready for a nap afterwards for about an hour and a half. I clean up the house he destroyed and then take a shower if there is time while he sleeps. When he wakes up, we eat lunch then have “free time.” and I don’t mean we do nothing….we get to choose what we do for the rest of the day, whether it’s grocery shopping and/ or an outing say to the Zoo, Science Museum or Park, etc. Jay is home by 4:30pm usually, so we try to be home to greet him. Then it’s time to cook, family time, then it’s bedtime. Whew.

But now it’s summer time and we are ready for more fun time…pool time!! Thank you Lord for the warm weather and look forward to some beach time too! We would love to have y’all over for some fun time this summer, so what are y’all waiting on?? ; )

Better Than I Use To Be

One night at dinner, Parker took our hands, bowed his head, said what seemed to be a prayer, then looked up and said Amen.

Yep, we got this right. We may not be perfect, but we are doing something right with this kid of ours! As my eyes began to swell with tears, it was at that moment that I knew Parker was safe. Safe because he has one thing that I never had…God.

I’ve been through my ups and downs. I’m no Angel (even though Jay says I am his). I’m not a preacher, not even the usher in church. I don’t claim to be perfect. Matter of fact, I hope I never do because when you do, people begin to think you judge them. And I don’t do that. I like to think I’m humble. Privileged yes, but humble, in knowing who I use to be. You see, by remembering who I use to be, I am reminded every day of what life could have been.

What could have been was a dark, lonely world with no meaning. Life didn’t make sense. Nothing ever went right, bad things kept happening to me and I’d always ask, “why me?” That question was answered when I found God. Before Him, I didn’t live for God and that’s why bad things continued to happen and people were good at getting a reaction out of me. I was following the wrong and destructive path.

Roman 8:6 states, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

It’s because of my past I can truly sympathize with those who don’t know a world with God. I’ve been there. Don’t ever want to go back and I will die trying to bring others out of that same world. I know I can’t save people, only God can, but I can bring them to HIM. I don’t ever want anyone to suffer the way I did. And I do mean suffer. I was literally suffocating from a lack of purpose and meaning, as if the life was being sucked right out of me as every day passed. When everyone turned their head to my destructive ways, God saved from myself. He was the only one truly there for me and now I have been blessed beyond words because I gave God the control.

I may not be the person I want to be yet, but I’m better than I use to be. I think spiritual maturity is always a continution. If you stop learning, stop wanting to better yourself…that’s when you realize you took a wrong turn. It’s never too late to find your true direction.

“Sometimes in the winds of change you find your true direction.”

Finding Christmas

Parker Loving Santa

I had my tree up this year the weekend before Thanksgiving and all my decorations up by that weekend. Yep, I was excited! So why you ask, was I more excited this year than any other year? Parker. This is the first year he will “somewhat” understand what Christmas is all about. Technically it’s Parker’s first Christmas because last year he was only 4 months old.

With that I had a chance to sit and think…what really is Christmas all about? What and more importantly, HOW are we going to teach Parker about Christmas? So, I prayed about it and thought about it. I began to think back to how Christmas was celebrated in my past …

We spent every Thanksgiving with my Dad’s side of the family in St. Louis and Christmas was spent every year with my mom’s side of the family mostly in Georgia or Texas. Either way, we knew where we were going to be for Christmas and who we were spending it with. I really loved Christmas because my parents got it right. My family would always fly in and stay for the whole weekend with my Grandparents or Aunt/Uncle. We were in one place. That is key to remember.

We would sit around the house, laughing, joking and catching up. We only saw each other once a year, so we really glad to have the time to enjoy each other. This was our schedule….(yes we had it down pat!):

Christmas Eve Eve – Hustle and bustle of the airport, then lots of hugs and kisses to get settled into!

Christmas Eve – Movie maybe or sitting around the house laughing, dinner and then secret santa

Christmas Day – Wake up to Santa!! Ate one of Aunt Karen’s famous breakfast casseroles, then back to the tree to open up our Christmas gift to each other.

Ok, so that was the schedule, but here are the details of what I saw on Christmas Day…

I have to first start with the fact that Christmas was my favorite holiday because of my sister. I was 8 years older than her, so my parents pretty much drilled it in my head that if I ruined Christmas for her, I would never see another present from Santa ever again! LOL…all with love of course!! But them telling me that only fueled the fire more to make her Christmas even more special because I knew how much it meant to me. Having been an only child for 8 years, Katie was like my own little, living, breathing doll! I loved her and mothered her as if she were my own. I didn’t know it then, but she was my gift from God. I got my wish of being a big sister/mother. Ok, back to my story…you can tell I love my sister.

So Christmas for me began with putting out cookies and milk for Santa and telling Katie we will know he came if he eats them! After that, we always…ALWAYS slept in the same bed for Christmas Eve. We would tell mom and Dad goodnight then snuggle up and tell stories. I would tell her I hear the reindeer bells and foot stomps on the roof. She believed me without a question! The look on her face every time I said anything about Santa, was priceless! We would giggle so hard and for so long, our parents would come back in the room and tell us we better go to sleep before we miss Santa!! We didn’t want that, so I wrapped her up tightly in my arms with our legs wrapped around each other too. Off to sleep we went.

We woke up the next morning giggling…imagine that?! She normally would be leaning over into my face and scare the dickens out of me when I opened my eyes! LOL!! I think that was when we woke our parents up, but we would creep into the living room anyways. It was pure childish joy at the sight of our Santa gifts. Granddaddy would usually be filming it and mom and dad…well I think they got just as much joy out of seeing us play with our Santa gifts! They were wall to wall grins. My sister, myself and our 2 cousins would sit for hours playing with the toys while the adults cooked breakfast. We would eat, then circle around the tree to open each others gifts, one by one.

That was Christmas to me. Joyful, happy, family Christmas. It wasn’t until later that I realized how hard it was for my parents. All those presents…well they had to get bought, wrapped and sent FedEx so we could have gifts to open. Yeah never thought of all that as a kid! Mom and Dad would have huge and do I even need to say expensive boxes to ship…and in time. I really credit my parents for Christmas because they did everything right. They never complained about shipping, buying, flying (except when were actually trying to get to the airport, that was a whole other story!) and never ever complained about getting all those presents home! They were good parents, keeping all the stresses of the holidays to themselves. I am thankful to my parents for getting it right.

So today, it’s exactly 3 days before Christmas and we just figured out Christmas schedules yesterday after a bunch of stressing. Quite the opposite of what we use to have. Matter of fact, for the past 3 years Jay and I have ran all over the city of Memphis having up to 4 days worth of Christmas’ and up to 6 different Christmas’! Yeah poor Aydin and now Parker were dragged around from house to house, never getting to actually play with their toys. By the time Christmas was over, Jay and I looked at each other, tired and cranky, saying: “what just happened? We missed Christmas!”

What are we teaching our kids? What are we doing to ourselves? How do we explain the true meaning of Christmas when all we do is run around for 4 days during Christmas? How do we share more quality time with our families and still share our own Christmas traditions with our kids? If you figure it out…give me a call.

We still haven’t figured it all out, but what we can do is find the true meaning in it all. Truth is, Christmas IS about Jesus. We get so caught up in celebrating Santa and buying gifts that we forget to celebrate Jesus. We all do it and we are all honestly guilty for it. Doesn’t make us bad people. But what we need to start putting into action along with Santa is all the lessons Jesus taught us. The moral of Christmas…to be thankful for what you have, to give more than you receive, and mostly…family. After all, that’s all you got and all you will TAKE with you in the next life. So, we can can complain about the hustle and bustle of Christmas or we can take what we got, choose to focus on what really matters and be thankful you found it. The meaning of Christmas that is : )

So we don’t get overwhelmed or stressed out, we need to take a deep look into what the real meaning of Christmas is. I challenge you to start a new tradition that helps you celebrate the birth of our Savior. What can you do for Jesus?

Let It Rain

Dad & Parker

Jay & Parker at the Cabin

We drove back to Memphis last week for Thanksgiving. We left a day later because we had some bad storms here in Birmingham, so the rain had already began. Once we got to Memphis, the clouds cleared up and it was beautifully cold while in Memphis. Jay’s mom cooked and mom came over to eat with us. We had everyone there on Jay’s side of the family including Marshall, our 2 year old nephew and Parker’s play buddy. They played and we ate like crazy! Yummy! I love the Simpson’s love of family. Family is always first and it shows.

We also had a chance to see Nanna and Uncle Roger while we were there. It’s so good to see them. The joy on their face to see us is so warm and genuine. Their eyes light up over Parker and it’s a wonderful thing to watch. I miss Nanna a bunch. She is truly the definition of unconditional love. She always loves when she doesn’t have to and forgives when she doesn’t need to. But then again she is just a true Christian and that’s what Christians do. I learn a lot from her, mainly by her saying nothing at all. She loves life because she genuinely loves people. If I could be half the woman she is, I’d be the person I want to be. I wish I could be around her all the time.

We also saw Diana and her family too. Parker about jumped right out of my arms to see her when she opened the door! She is another person dear to my heart and probably the best friend I’ve ever had. We have know each other since we were in 2nd grade…yep still remember meeting that little red head for the first time! And even though we were separated for a few years in between, God put us right back together as if we never skipped a beat. She was the one who watched Parker for us in Memphis and loved him like he was her own. You don’t get a better friend than that. Period. So of course we were excited to see her and boy the pure joy of seeing us was written on her face too. I feels good to be loved…and missed.

After Thanksgiving, I wanted to see Dad before we headed back to Birmingham, but he was in Clarksdale, Mississippi at the hunting cabin. So…we loaded Parker up, said good-bye to everyone and drove 1.5 hours to see him. It began to rain again…

When we arrived Dad was still hunting and Katie, Brian, Carrie and James were at the cabin. We sat around till dinner time when Dad came home. I was so happy to see him. At dinner things from the day had begun to scroll back through my head. Carrie was working, James had trouble remembering my name, Katie was upset with me for asking her to stay so I could see her, when she’d rather be car shopping and Dad…well he was just Dad. Man on a mission, to cook dinner. He is not much of an emotional guy, but what guy ever really shows emotion anyway?

At dinner as we all sat around the table. Dad asked me a question…”So, Dana are you home sick yet, ready to go back home yet?” It was just a simple question meaning, “do you consider Birmingham home now and are you tired of driving around yet.” He didn’t mean it in any other way. But when I was forced to think of what my answer would be, the tears began to roll down my face. And once they started, I couldn’t get them to stop as hard as I tried. Why was I crying? I was so embarrassed I ran outside because I couldn’t figure out why I was crying. As I stood outside in the pouring down rain, I looked up, closed my eyes and prayed.

As I began to talk to God, He gave me the answer I already knew. The answer to my question was yes. Yes, Birmingham is my home now. God gave me that home and I realized at that moment, home is where you are happy. I feel safe, happy, and closer to God than ever before because of Birmingham…so why should I be ashamed to call it home?

Truth is, it’s hard to let go of the past. I look at my life as a never ending book of chapters. Sometimes certain chapters are easier to close than others. Memphis has always been home to me because that’s where my family lived.  Family to me was my mother, father and sister.  And although that sense of family had changed over the years, it was still home to me because of them.

However, as I continued my conversation with God in the pouring down rain, I realized that night I had a whole new meaning to family. My very own family.  So, if I wasn’t feeling at home that day, that’s because Jay and Parker are my home now. I have my heart and responsibilities now with my own family…in Birmingham.

That day I was too busy expecting the past, that I forgot to be thankful for my present. I went down a lot of bumpy roads & rainy days to get where I am today. People change and people move on, but that doesn’t mean they love you any less. Forgiveness is powerful, but love is stronger. Don’t be too busy living in the past, that you forget to live in the present. Be thankful for those rainy days or those bumps in the road because it was they who helped establish your foundation today.

I had a long, much needed conversation with my father that night. We cried until our tears were filled with laughter. And even though I didn’t need him to validate his love for me, he did.  We said our good-byes the next morning with a big hug and off we went, back to birmingham…in the rain.

Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the power to change the things I can and the ability to know the difference.